Evaluation: Lessons learnt in 2014

Dear Readers,

Its the last day of the year. Yippee!!! I love last day of the year. Why? For me its a time to do my reflection. A time to consider what has gone well this year and what has not. A time to critically analyse and judge myself. Not always a nice experience. To be honest most years it is particularly painful because if done honestly it reveals the folly of my ways and how I limited myself.

This year started off well. It got a bit bumpy as it went along. It was an eye opener for me on so many levels. For me, this is my account of my 2014;

• 2014 started well for me. I had a job, the love of my life and a comfortable life with friends that loved me.
• It was the year I chose for our wedding.
• The wedding year came with its challenges and fights. It was however one that made us stronger and more closely knitted, It made me ask myself some really hard questions but we both decided that it would take more than the world threw at us to split us.
• Friendship was another crazy stage in this year. It had its ups and downs. Some of those I really trust, kind of let me down and I let some people down as well.
• I learnt that not all those who you call friends actually see you as one. I learnt to be careful and not to always let my guards down. I learnt not to be too trusting. 
• I learnt to take responsibility for events in my life and be a better manager of my life. 
• I learnt that I have no one else to blame for my happiness than myself. 
• I learnt that people will try to put you down and make you feel stupid but the choice to be put down and made to feel that way is totally dependent on yourself.
• I learnt that people do get jealous and I get jealous as well.
• I learnt that there is no need to feel insecure as I am in no competition with anyone. It might take me a while to get there but I will eventually get there. Be thankful for what you have.
• This year taught me to be happy for others even when everything is not rosy in your life.
• I learnt that there are bullies in this world and people will find and pick on your insecurities.
• I got a lot of slap in the face this year with situations. My weaknesses were capitalised on and used against me in my happiest moments. 
• I learnt that no matter how much shit people chat at you. You are forever required to be calm and take it with a smile. The problem only comes when you decide to be tired of the shit being dealt at you or said at you and you react. Then you become the one with the issue.
• I discovered my passion this year which I will be exploring in 2015.
• I got the push I need to want to work for myself and invest my time in my business. It was a hard and painful push but I am thankful because God does not shut one door without opening another.
• I for once appreciated the existence and love of God. This year I realised that He is the one person that never desserts, abandons, or ever stops loving you. I love that I can cry to him when I feel let down, angry or just sad. I love that He listens with no condemnation or preconceived judgements. I like that He listens and accepts me for me while he works on me with love.
• This year I learnt that when people wrong you, they will not always admit it or even be sorry for it. However, you must forgive not because of them but because you need to as that excess baggage only weighs you down.
• Forgiveness is no sign of weakness or stupidity; it is just a way of saying I am tired of this shit, I am the more wiser and I no longer want to hold this against you.
• I am learning to have no secrets and confidant but to be open as a book because that person you confide in, the day they get angry at you will use details you shared against you during anger. Not because they want to but because at that point, that probably the only way to hurt you.
• I am learning to be a wife, a companion and above all learning to share everything with my husband. Not something easy when you have learnt so much to be independent.
• I learnt the importance of communication as well as the importance of learning not to speak all the time.
• I am learning the importance of choosing the battles you fight and what to say during this battles. Believe me it is hard not to respond to everything said to you during an argument.
• 2014 taught me that you can not control the actions of others and as much as you might want them near or want to help except they see you also in that light you cannot force them. 
• Its the last day of the year and with all these lessons it has been an eventful day. This last day has taught me that there is a whole new year about to start. Another 365 days coming. 365 days to be a better me, incorporate this lessons into my life and make amends where needed. Its a new year and with this comes a whole world of possibilities, opportunities and new adventures. I am holding on to God to see me through and make me wiser as He takes me into and through 2015.

Enjoy your new years eve and be sure to do a recount of the valuable experiences and lessons for 2014.

Happy New Year in advance!

Appreciate the Little Things!

Dear Readers,


There was a small child who was brought up by his father. His father was a highly successful and extremely bright business man. For many months, the son had admired a beautiful black sports car in a dealer's showroom and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted as a gift for his graduation. He went to see the car every day for weeks. He took the car for a test drive; he smelled the leather seats, imagined buying it and taking it home for the first time. He took pictures of it and put them all out on his wall.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. He was full of excitement like a little child. He had absolutely no doubt of getting what he wished for. Finally after days of waiting impatiently, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. He sat him down on a designer brown leather chair and looked deep into his son's eyes and said: "I am very proud to have such a fine son and for the first time he said: "I love you".

His son not even hearing the words waited impatiently for his present. After all, he was used to expensive presents but his father expressing his feelings was unknown for him. Finally, the father handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. The son held his breath back while quickly opening the box. He had his dream car floating before his eyes. As he opened the box he found a book called "Put Your Dream to the Test". He was disappointed, almost shocked. He threw the book on the floor. Angrily he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a book?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the book behind. He moved out of the house immediately and went on his own way.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business just like his father. But business was not all he took after his father. He was as strict and impatient with his own children as his father was with him. He had a beautiful home somewhere in the countryside.

One day the man realized his father was very old and thought perhaps he should go see him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. They hadn't even spoken a word since then. The father hadn't even met his grandchildren. Although the son decided to contact his father he kept putting it off. Many times he walked to the phone, took it up, sat down on the white leather sofa in his living room, looked at his wife for support and dialed holding his breath back and shaking all over. But before the phone could ring he hung up. This went on for weeks until one day he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to him. He needed to go home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He went into his father's study where they last spoke and thought about the last words he heard from his father. He began to search his father's important papers and in one of his drawers he found the still new book, just as he had left it years ago. He sat down on the same chair he was sitting those years before and recollected his memories of the situation that had separated them. With tears rolling down his face, he read the title: Put your dreams to the test. Then he opened the book and began to turn the pages. After the third page he saw a hole in the book with a car key in it. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the black sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words…

"With love to my precious son who made me so proud today"

Moral of the Story:
Its Christmas eve and tomorrow we will be opening loads of gifts. There is a possibility of some disappointments or expectations being let down. No matter how little or how not properly packaged your gift might be, no matter how much it differs from the way you want it; appreciate the effort and thought that went into it.

At times we tend to forget that someone has gone out of their way to do something nice. We are so bent on our expectations and take this little things for granted.

I work with children and I find it kind of sad and a bit funny how long and demanding Christmas lists the kids write are now. I miss the days of when you only wanted one gift. The days you knew you were only going to get one and that one went a long way in making you happy. What happened to the days of cherished gifts.

Let's try to always appreciate the little things. One way, not quite sure how; they usually lead you to bigger and better things.

This Christmas let it be about the thought and time and not about the physical item. Listen to the words or pay attention when reading the wordings. Don't miss out on that message just because you were to busy focusing on the item.

Enjoy your Christmas Eve and Merry Christmas dear readers.

My Most Memorable Christmas!

Dear Readers,

Its been ages I blogged.

Another story for another day. Came across this in my readings and thought to share this lovely story from Mike Woodland. Be inspired.

"I looked at the gift. It looked SO different than the others under the tree. It was so carefully wrapped and even had a ribbon tied in a bow. In rich red paper it was beautiful! THIS gift was larger than the others too. Something was missing… It didn’t have a name on it. I couldn’t ask whose it was; it seemed too special. I just looked in wonder. Just having it under the tree added something special to Christmas.

That Christmas, along with other holidays, was not special. Holidays, in my home, were filled with lots of drinking.

Drinking always led to yelling. . .

Yelling led to fights. . .

Fights sometimes went beyond words . . . In our home the “special” had been lost in holiday events. This Christmas in particular was framed in angry discussions of job loss and financial stress. I overheard a lot.

The GIFT was so mysterious; it was a blaze of red color in my black and white world. It captured my mind. I could hardly contain myself as the time came to open presents! I am the youngest of four. Presents were handed out in order, oldest to youngest. Each time another gift was handed out the anticipation built.

It did not go to my sister. . .

My oldest brother did not get it. . .

My middle brother was given the box next to it. . .

Next, my mom’s hand reached for THE gift . . . my world went into slow motion when she handed THE mysterious, beautifully wrapped gift to me! For just a moment I didn’t move. Maybe it was a mistake… then I saw the hidden tag; it said, “To Mike from Santa.” It was real. It was for me. My fingers began to un-wrap the box; I was still in disbelief. As the paper fell away, I could hardly believe my eyes; a brand new pair of black ice skates. New for ME! Being the youngest boy with two older brothers almost nothing was new coming to me. Now right in front of me were brand new shiny ice skates.

I remember nothing else of that day beyond skating up and down the ice covered country roads. I was the only one thankful for the recent ice storm! In the next few days, I’m sure I must have broken some world record for the distance skated by a 9 year old boy. 

That gift lifted me out of a fog. I’m not sure what I would label the fog. Maybe it was the expectation that somehow Christmas should be special. Maybe it was TV or maybe comments I heard at school but somehow I thought Christmas should be a special time.

The mysterious gift made that Christmas the most memorable of my childhood. I never found out who “Santa” was. I wish I could say, “Thank you” and let them know how much that gift meant. Someone’s kindness made a significant impact and a memorable Christmas."

I encourage you to be a mystery Santa. Show kindness, bring a smile and share the love this Christmas.

You might ask how but take a look around you. There is still time to put a smile on someone's face. 2 days to Christmas. How will you make it count?

Source: http://us7.campaign-archive1.com/u=20e9618b1ff6cdf633ed1ec97&id=90e786d434&e=1d64ef976e

Our Favourite Love Quotes

Hello Readers,

Happy Month of Love. Going with the theme of this month, the team and I thought we would share some of our favorite love quotes with you. Hope you enjoy it and do not forget to drop us your favorites as well. Thanks!

Love is real, real is love. John Lennon

Love is a friendship set to music. Joseph Campbell

The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers. Thich Nhat Hanh

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. James Baldwin

When you love someone / you are scared of getting hurt / and you will get hurt. Brandon Scott Gorrell

And now we’re apart and you’re just some stranger who knows all my secrets and all my family members and all my quirks and flaws and it doesn’t make sense. Gaby Dunn

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you. Bob Marley

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close. Pablo Neruda

What most people call loving consists of picking out a woman and marrying her. They pick her out, I swear, I’ve seen them. As if you could pick in love, as if it were not a lightning bolt that splits your bones and leaves you staked out in the middle of the courtyard. They probably say that they pick her out because-they-love-her, I think it’s just the siteoppo. Beatrice wasn’t picked out, Juliet wasn’t picked out. You don’t pick out the rain that soaks you to a skin when you come out of a concert. Julio Cortázar

It’s often just enough to be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You’re not alone. Marilyn Monroe

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings. Anaïs Nin

I like not only to be loved, but also to be told I am loved. George Eliot

The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love. Henry Miller

You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. Dr. Seuss

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. Heinlein

Perfect love is the most beautiful of all frustrations because it is more than one can express. Charlie Chaplin

Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really. Harvey Milk

I love you, Not only for what you are, But for what I am When I am with you. I love you, Not only for what You have made of yourself, But for what You are making of me. I love you For the part of me That you bring out; I love you For putting your hand Into my heaped-up heart And passing over All the foolish, weak things That you can’t help Dimly seeing there, And for drawing out Into the light All the beautiful belongings That no one else had looked Quite far enough to find. I love you because you Are helping me to make Of the lumber of my life Not a tavern But a temple; Out of the works Of my every day Not a reproach But a song. I love you Because you have done More than any creed Could have done To make me good And more than any fate Could have done To make me happy. You have done it Without a touch, Without a word, Without a sign. You have done it By being yourself. Perhaps that is what Being a friend means, After all. Roy Croft

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. Neil Gaiman

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. Leo Buscaglia

Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river. Malagasy Proverb

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense. Mark Overby

Love is a symbol of eternity.  It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. Author Unknown

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with little hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. C.S. Lewis

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. Paul McCartney TC Mark

Source: http://thoughtcatalog.com/charlie-morrigan/2013/04/the-25-greatest-quotes-about-love/

Self-Appraisal

This week to go with our theme for January of self-development and acceptance, we thought we would share the story below;

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers).  The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation.

Boy: ‘Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): ‘I already have someone to cut my lawn.’

Boy: ‘Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now.’

Woman: I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy: (with more perseverance) : ‘Lady, I’ll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida.’

Woman: No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner: ‘Son… I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.’

Boy: ‘No thanks.’

Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.

Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the Job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!’

This is called self-appraisal - a difficult thing, to carry out. How many times have you slacked off because no one was watching? How many times have you changed that sign-in time to accommodate what you will like it to reflect? How many of us can proudly beat our chests and say that we give a 100% every time when it comes to what we do or find yourself doing. If you cannot honestly self-appraise yourself, who are you to sit there and ask others to evaluate themselves. If someone was to pitch for your current role, what will your employer say about you?

Most times you don’t get ahead of others, do you blame others for it. We all need to look at ourselves, to find our weaknesses and strength. This way you can work hard on you own weaknesses to improve on it and capitalize on your strength. “Always Work Hard, Honest and with full Dedication. It will always pay up.”

This week, if you haven’t got a good story, write a better story about yourself.


Source: http://lighthouseng.org/evotionals/self-apraisal/

Never Give Up!

It’s a new year and a real bit of me queried what to write about as an opening for our blogging this year. As I searched and wondered, I was bought back to this, it did help me a while back at one of the lowest times in my life. As such, I thought to share it by including it in our first published post.

As this week starts, I will like to share some stories with you. This post is for those contemplating on giving up; for those who are discouraged and at a point in their lives where questions are being asked as to what next???. In case you are contemplating giving up on your dream, goals, plans or aspirations, I hope these will inspire you to finish strong.

As a young man, Abraham Lincoln went to war a captain and returned a private. Later, he failed as a businessman. As a lawyer in Springfield, he was too impractical and temperamental to find success. He turned to politics and was defeated in his first try for the legislature, again defeated in his first attempt to be nominated for congress, defeated in his application to be commissioner of the General Land Office, defeated in the senatorial election of 1854, defeated in his efforts for the vice-presidency in 1856, and defeated in the senatorial election of 1858. He later became the 16th President of the United States of America.

Robert Sternberg received a C in his first college introductory-psychology class. His teacher commented that “there was a famous Sternberg in psychology and it was obvious there would not be another.” Three years later Sternberg graduated with honors from Stanford University with exceptional distinction in psychology, summa cum laude, and Phi Beta Kappa. In 2002, he became President of the American Psychological Association.


Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4-years-old and did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was “sub-normal,” and one of his teachers described him as “mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams.” He was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. He did eventually learn to speak and read. Even to do a little math.

We read recently about Walt Disney who was fired by a newspaper editor because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” He went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland. In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim on the grounds that it would only attract riffraff.

Winston Churchill had difficulties as a child during his school years. After deciding to become a politician, he was defeated in every single election for public office, until he became Prime Minister at the age of 62. What does Churchill have to say about failure? “Never give in–never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. 

Me:I had difficulties in my studies from primary to secondary school. My parents constantly threatened me with making me repeat the class. Somehow, I always barely made it through. I got into my foundations and I had to learn a lot of things I did not understand in order to be able to pass and go into University. This I had
to self-teach myself if I can use that word.


I went into University and was told how difficult it is for an international student to make something tangible of themselves in a foreign country. I was the only black African female student on my course and this meant I was easily spotted and picked for activities. Believe me I hated it. To cut the long story short I not only graduated with a First class honors degree but I also got awarded the best graduating student in my faculty.
So University finished and it became getting into the career world. With no money and hardly anyone to turn to for assistance, I had no job for 3 years. Day in day out, applications was made and I watched as each and every rejection letter flooded in. For livelihood, I depended on friends for the little they could give and hopped from one person to another for accommodation and shelter.

Three years later I got a job as an intern with my qualifications. 8 months later the program finished and I wasn't retained. I got another job, only to be fired 3 days later due to financial constraints as they put it.  Today I am a Business Manager who manages a team of 7. I am younger than every single member of the team I manage. I was the youngest to go for the job interview and the only one that got the call back.

Years ago, I would have laughed at the folly that things would ever get better for me. Each time I almost gave up, these stories kept me going.  I learnt one lesson that keeps me going; my personal motto: I am important to this world, but only me has the ability to make that importance a reality.

There will always be voices or messages convincing you that it’s too late, you are not good enough but how you let that impact your future and destiny; that decision lies solely with you.

Never Give Up!!!

This week, make a decision to Finish Strong (and next week too, and the week after).

Source: http://lighthouseng.org/evotionals/never-give-up/