HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING?

Hi dedicated blog readers. Sorry we have been away for so long. A few of the team have been down with flu, one of the girls here is getting married and others have just been busy with the rush that comes on going on Christmas holiday.

All in all we have no valid reasons for keeping you in suspense for this long, so do accept our sincere apologies. For the next few days till Christmas, what this spot as we will be keeping you entertained; so lets have fun together for the next few days.

I had this interesting conversation with my friends over this weekend and thought I would share to get a public view on the below.

How long have you been dating for? That was the big question that got us all stirred up. A variety of answers came flying in from a few months to years.

This got me thinking and I asked the ladies to lets break it down and get to do the Maths.

Let take for example an answer of two (2) years. If I was to ask you that in the two years how often was your relationship face to face and not just based on telephone or social media communication?

What would the answer be?

LET'S BREAK IT DOWN: If you see your partner just twice in a month then it means 2 x 12 = 24 days and in two years its 48 days it means you've only dated for a month and 18 days (using a 30 day calendar month) and have only had mere communication in-between.

Would I be right in saying this is your actual age in the relationship?

Now don’t get me wrong my point is, its in this 48 days that you actually get to be with the person and this is the only time you get to know them (possibly) for who they are, you get to learn their personality and approach to certain things and probably learn from their character flaws.

Too many times we are too pre-occupied with the number of years that at times it deters us from the observations needing to be made a focus, the lessons needing to be learnt, and the nitty-gritty details. Stop focusing on the years you've known them focus more on the time you have both spent together, the time spent together is where you build what can be called a relationship. This time is when your foundations are laid and the seeds are planted and watered for growth.

This mentality at times I believe is a major reason why relationships become complicated and tend to fail as so much time is spent on how could she/he after so many months or years. Then you begin to doubt what you know about your partner because you believe you have spent so much time together when in actual fact it’s been mere communication. Please don’t get me wrong as mere communication is also vital in a relationship. My point is that we should never replace this with the irreplaceable experience of actually getting to know each other face to face. You will definitely never get to know the person completely before marriage but the much you get to know during this time will help form a better judgement as to your compatibility.

Concentrate more on them when you are with them in the physical than when you talk on the phone, chat or think of them. Rome was not built in a day. Likewise a lasting relationship cannot be built on just mere communications and calculations!

What are your thoughts on this?

One Day Off...

So you want a day off? Let's take a look at what you are asking for!

There are 365 days this year.

There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.

Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break. That accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available.

With a one hour lunch period each day, you have used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days available for work.

We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.

We generously give you 14 days vacation per year which leaves only one day available for work and I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!

Since its a public holiday in some countries like Nigeria, Egypt, Bangladesh..., we thought this weeks blog should be geared towards having a day off. We hope you enjoy this piece as we are very jealous given we are not on break here in the UK. Eid Mubarak to all our Muslim readers.

For the lazy bunch enjoying this holiday instead of being at work, do have a lovely week and do not envy we the suckers stuck at work at all. Enjoy the read!

Happiness is a Choice...

She is 92 years old, petite, well poised, and proud. She is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed, and her makeup perfectly applied, in spite of the fact she is legally blind. Today she has moved to a nursing home. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making this move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, where I am employed, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet curtains that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year old having just been presented with a new puppy. "Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room....just wait," I said. Then she spoke these words that I will never forget:

"That does not have anything to do with it," she gently replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time."

Whether I like the room or not, does not depend on how the furniture is arranged. It is how I arrange my mind. I have already decided to love it. It is a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice. I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or I can get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do work.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I will focus on the new day and all of the happy memories I have stored away.

It is a new week. Choose to be happy.

Source: The lighthouse

What a girl wants...

Quite a few guys have written to us asking what girls want. Now we at Juliet Angels have tried so hard to put our various opinions together and come up with a consensus list on what as ladies want. We believe most girls ready for a relationship would have one to this. However please tell us if we are wrong as we would definately love to here and if necessary make an amended updated post based on comments! Now for the guys, we have got 10 points in here and I don't believe there is a guy out there that ticks perfectly for all 10. However if you do, we would love to here from you and you certainly need your woman to vouch that this is right so get here to leave a comment.

I know some of you are rolling your eyes already but keep reading. All we want to do is this as a friendly refresher, a reminder that simple and honest is a good thing.

What Every Girl (OK, this Girl) Wants …

1. Someone who genuinely shows an interest in my life, who I was, who I am, and how I became that person as well as is ready to take who I might become.

Most girls love when you; Ask questions! Show an interest! Don’t you really want to know who you are with? I once dated this guy who I believe till today doesn't quite know the spelling of my last name. Girls hate nothing more than a guy (except the guy is only useful for sex) who can’t remember the simple things about them. For example, what course she is studying, what school she went, or little information on her family life. To be honest if you are really interested in that person, no one would have to force you to know the information because you would really want to know. Guys don’t joke with their football and if you think of how impressive it is the amount of information they know about the players they have never met, you are capable of storing more than that information on a girl you really like.

2. Acknowledgement of special occasions e.g. birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Christmas and especially anniversaries. 

The truth: Most girls act like they really can’t be bothered with Valentine day but secretly resents you if she ends up being the only one that doesn't have a spectacular story to tell her friends. Special occasions do matter, no matter how small and insignificant you might think it is. This is the point most guys get wrong; for most reasonable girls (please note that I said “REASONABLE”) it’s not the cost of the gift that matters, it’s the thoughtful gesture.

As an example; there was a Valentine’s Day (the best Vals day she's had to date) and her and her partner were both searching for jobs, so money was a tight constraint. She was shocked at the planning he had done with the financial constraint. She got a book from him that told her all about herself from his perspective, in his words. They had a dinner at his, and a movie night in (one she had seen already but that he knew she loved). At the end of the night, the cost for the whole night was not up to £15. We girls just want a proof that you care, that you can still take time out from your busy schedule to make us feel special.

3. Appreciation on ordinary days 

A huge minus for most guys as they begin to expect and see the little things we do as normal. A “thank you” goes a long way. Now am not saying we expect this all the time but they come in very handy especially when she worked very hard all day. Did she make you a cake? Dinner? Do your laundry? Make you smile? Watch your favourite TV show with you? Tell her a simple and sincere “thank you”.

4.Accept and like my imperfections and embrace yours

No one is perfect. Accept it and where possible, help work on it. If you have corrected her on the little things and she still forgets every now and then, still correct her with love. We are all not perfect and I am sure there are things you do that drive her crazy but she still puts up with it. If you don’t close a cabinet door, or you leave the toothpaste out, or you have a weird freckle on your left knee, those aren't deal breakers. Don’t get too picky, because someone could point out your imperfections just as easily.

 5. Someone who is excited to see me and proud to be with me

Introduce her to your friends (when you are ready, of course!) and always let her know that you are happy to see her and be with her. A lot of times most of the complaints we get from ladies is that their guys don’t seem to be proud of them. He finds it hard calling me his girlfriend but would rather introduce me as a friend as he believes people will understand. Now guys please note, that we aren't all stupid as well and we know the difference between a friend and a girlfriend.

6. Someone who is already on their own path (not living in their parent’s basement) 

We get life is tough and doesn't always smile with goodies on us all. Sometimes, especially in this economy, we have to compromise regarding our living situations. But honestly, if you aren't on a road to independent living, grown-up style, that is a problem. There’s nothing more annoying than a 30 year old man still living in his parents basement and not bothered about it one bit.

7. Someone who wants a commitment and marriage 

If you have commitment issues or are just looking for simple, unattached companionship, make it known early and often. Most girls hate a guy that strings you on. If you are just with her because her body is tailored to your sexual needs, let her know from the beginning. If she is in that adventurous stage in life, she might just take you up on the offer. However, do not lie to her, only to come back and say; "am sorry, just not ready for anything serious" or "i still have unresolved issues from my previous relationship". If you know from start that  culture, religion, principles and perception on life differ greatly and there will be no compromise, do not go wasting her time.

8. Someone who compliments me and accepts my compliments

Be confident enough in yourself to welcome compliments, and confident enough to give them.

9. Someone who gives as much to me as I give to them 

It is exhausting doing all of the work. Just saying’. It saps you emotionally and mentally. It hurts as hell.

10. Someone who likes simple things—like taking walk after work, cooking together

Ordinary things are just plain awesome sometimes. Spending 20 minutes to walk with your lady and her dog (or just your lady) says more than you realize.

 I think guys sometimes over-think what we really want.

Now don’t get us wrong, as a ladies, we are not saying we girls do not have our own problems but if as a guy you can proudly beat your chest and say you have the qualities on this list, you have a lot to be proud of and have a very good chance of getting the girl you are after.

We are not going to lie and say there are no superficial things that may or may not BOOST you (rich, good lover in the sheets, tidies after him, e.t.c.). However, to be real and honest; human beings are INSATIABLE!

Expect and give the basics and you’ll have a more fulfilling relationship. If you find a girl that’s after much more than this, or find that your list is too complicated and detailed, you’re not going to find that long-lasting relationship you’re after.

What does love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds...
"What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. Touching words from the mouth of babes.

See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." -- Rebecca - age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." -- Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." -- Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." -- Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." -- Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." -- Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" -- Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." -- Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." -- Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." -- Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." -- Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." -- Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." -- Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." -- Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." -- Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." -- Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." -- Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) -- Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." -- Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." -- Jessica - age 8

And here's the final answer to "What does Love mean?"

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." -- Leo Buscaglia

This piece is dedicated to one of our girls Obby Ezenwafor, who will be getting married tomorrow. May your marriage be full of joy, laughter, happiness and all awesomeness special couples like you deserve. God bless your home, your marriage and make you an inspiration to your generation. May you be an adviser to people on what a blessed marriage is and the joys of being married. May God be there for you during the good and rocky times and give you a peaceful home at all times.

Now this bride is an epitome of strength as she lost her dad a few weeks ago. We at letas2juliet pray your day will be full of strength and good memories. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God grant journey mercies to all those travelling back and forth.

Happy Married Life Obby!!!

Testing for Gossip...

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute", Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?"

"That's right", Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No,",the man said, "Actually I just heard about it and ..."

"All right", said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary."

"So", Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well", concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

How many times have we used our mouth to destroy relationships through the passing along of unverified details. How many times have we sat and condemned people without hearing or being sure to verify and check for the truth we have heard. Even I, am guilty of it.

The effect of tale telling are covered in length in the bible. A few examples are Prov 8:18, 20:19, 26:20; Matt 12:36, 2 Timothy 2:16. As I sat and read a few of these passages, it made me realise how carelessly I use my tongue and how silence at times is the key. So this week, as well as for this month; we at letas2juliet are throwing out a challenge on putting everything that comes through our mouth for the month of September through this test. We ask that you write in and let us know how well you do and how difficult or easy it was. We will also be sure to keep you updated on how the team is doing.

We want to take this opportunity to say a big thank you to all our readers as this month makes it two years for their commitment so far and we make a promise that its only going to get better.

The Little Boy

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: “How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?”

The surgeon said, “I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t make it.”

Sally said, “Why do little children get cancer? Doesn’t God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?”

The surgeon asked, “Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university.”

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. “Would you like a lock of his hair?” the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, “It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody else. “I said no at first, but Jimmy said, ‘Mom, I won’t be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.” She went on, “My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.”

Sally walked out of Children’s mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son’s room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

 It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:

“Dear Mom, 

 I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ’cause I’m not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won’t be so lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don’t be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn’t look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God’s knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That’s when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn’t allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him ‘Where was He when I needed him?’ “God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. 

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I’ve written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn’t that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I’m, sure the food will be great. 

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don’t hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I’m glad because I couldn’t stand that pain anymore and God couldn’t stand to see me hurt so much, either. That’s when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that? 

Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.” 

Author Unknown

Different Approach!!!

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning, what did you write?' The man said, 'I only wrote the truth, I said what you said in a different way.' What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day even though I cannot see it'. Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people how beautiful it is when one can see to appreciate things better. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective? It is just a matter of taking on different perspectives to the issues of life.

Moral of the Story: How often do we overlook the many blessings thrown our ways, just because its not big enough in our tiny imaginations. As individuals you need to be thankful for what you have - you got up this morning (that is life, you can go about your day (energy), you have a place to live, you have family and friends, and you might not be the richest but you have enough to get you through. Just one or even two of the items listed is enough to regard yourself as blessed. A little adjustment in your sign like the little boy can make the difference. You may not have accomplished all your goals since the beginning of the year; God is still faithful and committed to bring to pass what He has promised. Don't murmur, whine and complain over unaccomplished goals. Be thankful. Be grateful. Think differently and positively. Like it's been said 'think outside the box'. Change your attitude and look for creative ways to accomplish your task. The Big picture is for an appointed time, if it seems delayed, don't waiver in doubt and unbelief it will not be delayed for one day. Surely and eventually the appointed time will come.

For our readers so far, many thanks for the support. Be sure to follow us and tell others about us and we would definitely love to hear from you. Lots of love and do have a beautiful week!

Relationship Management

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says, 'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you this; your mother and I are getting a divorce after 35 years of marriage ... and it's over!' 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. 'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says. 'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!' Frantic, the son calls his sister, who also explodes on the phone. 'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.' She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at her old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR?' and she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay' 'It's all set. They're both coming for our anniversary and paying their own airfare.

We all tend to give excuses of 'no time' in our schedules today but the truth is that no man or woman is forever busy. We complain about lack of funds, distance, and unresponsiveness of our loved ones as reasons why we don't get in touch with each other often. We all have 365 days, 24 hours at our disposals. The sky is not going to fall down if you take a few days off work for holidays, travel to meet your dear ones and restore your broken down walls. Business meetings, seminars, conferences, career moves and money making ventures will always be there in life. Good relationship management will keep us healthy; preserve our lives because when all is gone, the warmth of those we love and appreciate over the years speak vitality, stability, hope and a new beginning into our lives. Invest time and effort in your relationships!

Contentment!

The story is told of a store opened exclusively to women to assist them in picking their choice husbands. Among the instructions is a description on how to use the store. 'You are permitted to visit the store ONLY ONCE'! There are six floors here and the attributes of the men increases as you ascend the flights. The rule binding here is that you may choose any man of your choice from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

A woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign reads: These men got jobs and love God. The second floor sign reads: These men got jobs, love God and love kids. The third floor sign reads: These men got jobs, love God, love kids and are extremely good looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.  Then she goes to the fourth floor where the sign reads: These men got jobs, love the God, love kids, drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'  Still, she goes to the fifth floor where the sign reads: These men got jobs, love God, love kids, drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor where the sign reads: You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that humans are impossible to please. 'Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

The lesson for us is simply, at whatever stage of life we found ourselves as we in put the required efforts we must be grateful, be content with such that we have and learn to enjoy where we are on the way to where we journey. Things may not be as perfect as we planned but remember there will always be room for improvement.

Convenience!!!

When was the last time you said, “It’s just not convenient for me”?  Have you ever thought about what this really means?  I mean, clearly life would be easier if what we wanted just fell into place at the exact time we wanted it, right?…..Wouldn’t that be nice?!  But would that make life better…..more fulfilling….or more enjoyable?  The “convenient” answer is “Yes”…..but after spending a great deal of time this week thinking about acting out of convenience vs. acting out of principle or for what is “right” in the pursuit of something “Great”…..I’m pretty confident that the convenient answer is WRONG!

Take a moment and ponder a few things that you place value on in your life…..your relationships with others and / or a higher being….your recreational activities….your job…the purchase of a beloved sports car….your report card or desired college choice….your health and fitness!  What is it about these items that make them carry so much value?  I’d argue it’s due in large part to the amount of effort and hard work they require to ensure they are a success…or great.  Take some examples below:

· Relationships – if it was always about convenience and things just coming easily…would we ever grow…if we were never pushed or confronted or expected to be our best….would we place the same kind of value on the relationship that we do with others who bring out our best?  Would our mind and heart allow us to remain focused and committed….or would things get stale and boring?

· Recreational Activities – why do people love golf….because it can be relaxing, but still a challenge to master….why do athletes train for hours to perfect skills?….because their is an enormous feeling of self-worth…or greatness, when you’ve given your all leading to accomplishment….and the main reason the accomplishment is great is only because it took so much work to get there!  In almost a never ending circle, the work (aka inconvenience) is what makes outcomes so great…and great outcomes is what drives us to work!

· Your Job – ever go through the day staring at the clock, just waiting till it struck leaving time?  I used to do this before finding something I could be passionate about…..this job was convenient…it paid well….not much was expected out of me…but each day I left feeling empty….I was simply looking for a paycheck, and to get out of work to go do what “I really loved”, but even the mighty dollar wasn’t fulfilling enough for me to feel great.  Since that time, thankfully I’ve had the pleasure to meet, speak, and work with people on the other side of this coin…those who work 12+ hours a day, for far less pay because they believe in their product / service….they don’t feel the need to shut down the computer at a specific time or push today’s tasks to tomorrow, regardless of how convenient (or inconvenient)….instead they work till the job is done because they believe in it’s purpose and the self-fulfillment and value it brings them.

· The beloved sports car (insert other material possessions here) – why is it they are so valuable to us….is it possibly because they are usually scarce, expensive, or otherwise hard to come by….and because we have to work hard to have the means to purchase or otherwise acquire them?

· Your desired college (or that of your children) – what’s so important about the “Ivy League” anyway (or any other prestigious school)…sure the education is great…but why?  The education is great because it’s challenging…it pushes you and your limits….it exposes you to experiences that other schools may not be able to offer….but the challenge doesn’t come on your terms…it comes when the professor says so, and (coming from someone who missed a few social outings to study) it’s far from convenient.

· Your Health & Fitness – the convenient approach would be to eat the foods that are readily available and cheap sold at “Convenience” stores (ironic name huh?) or Fast Food chains…..but why is this type of meal so cheap and readily available….because there’s very little work (or love for you Mom’s out there) that goes into making it great!  Or what about how convenient it is to plop down on the couch after a long day’s work…hit the snooze button too many times in the morning…or stay in on a rainy day rather than getting up and out to exercise….it’s certainly convenient…but will not lead to “Great” health & fitness.

Convenience is the zone of comfort which limits the full expression of potential. It is where dreams are never realised due to fear, and being risk averse. It is the place where good intentions never see the light of the day, where we are satisfied with average results. The city of convenience is filled with men and women who settle for less in life because they are afraid of taking new challenges that can usher in desired progress. The city is full of mediocrity and over populated with failures comfortable with being less than they are created to be.

People in this city would rather feed on job security than start the multi-million business that is in their hearts. They are with trapped potentials, unrealized dreams, and unfulfilled expectations; like generals who would never dare to go to war. They talk about the loftiness of their dreams but never do anything to achieve them. Success in life will never be established without the concerted effort to meet our desired goals. This week, step out of the convenience zone to nurture your dream because the best things of life are always outside the comfort zone. The big win will sometimes require taking big risks, riding over the storms of life.

Bottom line our journey to doing something Great…..and a key to being (a)LIVE is taking the road that twists, turns, goes up & down….and “You can be sure of one thing…there is never a crowd on the extra mile” – it’s anything but convenient!

Don’t ever be trapped in your city of convenience!

Source: http://fit2belive.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/convenience-the-opposite-of-great/

Man Day!!!

You know the drill, of getting ready for every 14th of February. This day is believed to be the chance you get to show your fondness for a significant other through gifts, your words, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentine’s Day, guys rack their brains for that one special, unique gift that will show that they really do care for you and made an effort.

Now ladies, we all know that guys really don't enjoy this that much. Let’s believe that seeing that priceless smile that acknowledges they have done well is priceless to them and they are not just thinking of how much this has cost them as that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration.

Here’s a big secret; guys feel left out. They don’t get any special holidays well apart from Father’s day which technically does not count if you are not one) where we ladies get to show how much we love and appreciate them. Being the gentlemen they are, no complaints are made so you do not think them less than being posh. 

As a result of this selfishness on our part ladies; a new holiday has been created. When? March 14th and you guessed right; a month after Valentine’s Day. Now be aware that you do not get a free day from work, it’s just one identical to Valentine’s Day; the difference is that, ITS ALL ABOUT THE MEN IN OUR LIVES. Not a big fan of the name; “STEAK AND BLOWJOB DAY” given as I am not married. So I have decided to tag it for myself as “MACHO DAY”.

Only conditions to this holiday is; no cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. That’s it. However, I am a lady who loves to break rules and till I am married will not be signing unto the BJ reasoning.

Given my man blew my mind with his Valentine’s Day gift, I am signing on to “MACHO DAY” this year. For the crazy, God-fearing, rule-breakers and the ladies just wanting a change from the traditional things out there; this is for you. Things you can do to make his March 14th special;

• Stop all forms of moaning, nagging and complaining for a day: start his day with a nice peck on the lips or on the cheeks as you say good morning. If you have breakfast together normally, get him his breakfast and if early enough serve it to him in bed. Let the morning be as pleasant as possible in all you do. For this day, allow all his annoying habits and take it on nicely with a smile; i.e. him not tidying up after himself and leaving things lying around everywhere.

• No questions day:  Give you man 24 hours of not being queried and questioned. Let him be the one to choose to tell you about his day and how it went. From the benign such as ‘what time is it’ (now you wear a watch don’t u?) to the annoying (usually while watching a film or football match) that arrive as thick and fast as an Elephant’s pop shot, innumerate questions are a feature of any man’s day. This includes rhetorical, tricky (Would you still love me if…?) and highly dangerous questions (Am I fat?) or even ones that they can benefit from. For once let’s do the thinking for them and if it doesn’t go down too well, they will be sure to tell you.

• Ladies spending day: One of my favourites. For this day, give him the money to spend for lunch. As long as his spending is not something that will make you go bankrupt, just for today pick up his tabs and let him know you have got it covered.  

• Gaming day: Now be prepared to enjoy his gaming consoles with him. After a long day at the office, if you happen to get home before he does set up for dinner with a gaming session to follow. Give him one day to play his favourite games and possibly teach you. If he has thought you in the past, this is one day to challenge him to it and have a good laugh as you do.

• Let him decide the channel or what to watch or see in the cinema day: Now ladies, some guys are so caring that they would seat through the cheesiest chick flicks with you just to make you happy. For this day, let’s be prepared and happy to seat through the football matches (without asking any questions as they hate when you do that), their series and even their movies as boring as you might find it.

• The ‘no live pause football’ day: Just for this day allow the man to finish his match with no interruptions or asking him to pause so you can talk to him or find out information.

• Uninterrupted toilet day: Don’t know why but some guys have got a thing with the toilet. They could spend hours there. For some it’s a place to gather their thoughts and find some solace. So, just for this day; don’t go banging on the toilet door to get him out and resort to insults and threats when you are not getting your way. I know its annoying given we don’t understand what they get up to in there but just for this day, let there be no comments.

• No ‘what if’ or scenario asking day: Men wonder about stuff all the time. They internally speculate as to just how good they had been at (their job, life, where they are headed, family, irrelevant stuff, anime, etc.) and they spend hours asking themselves silly questions. Now for this day, lets no paint any scenarios for them that we will be quizzing them about to see what they would do if they were in the situation. Let’s call it “so what? Day” where we no matter what happens we just treat it as so what?

• The ‘nothing today’ day: Just one day where we don’t have anything planned or structured for them. No chores, nothing to fix or help around the house with. Obviously they will reserve the right to have a panic attack and instantly make loads of plans that are impossible to pull off. It doesn’t matter what they choose to do, for this one day just don’t plan it out.

• The ‘Oh my days’ day: One day guys are allowed to reply to everything with ‘oh my days’ in a variety of accents without any anger in return. Now the catch is this works with everything from ‘the kitchen sink is blocked’ to ‘I just got fired (joking! But be lenient if you get that)’

• Listen to his boring story day: Men have a lot of boring stories that they think are scintillating. Until now they have been ignored. Today they will be listened to. You will sit there enrapt as he spout them off one by one. If he acts them out, wears costumes or even shouts. This is one day you will have to forge interest and appear captivated as it’s been pushed aside for your TV time and stories.

• No set bed time day: He is allowed to come to bed whenever he chooses and you can’t get angry about it.

All in all, the aim is to ensure he enjoys every bit of the day; from when he gets up in the morning to when he goes to bed.

My baby, my man will be showered with the love and respect he deserves tomorrow (not like I don’t do this every day by the way). He will be waking up to a poem rendition that I wrote on how much I love him and how he makes my world amazing. This is to be served with breakfast in bed. His lunch is on me tomorrow as my baby will be getting an allowance. His mate’s girlfriends and I have all got dinner reservations for them at the best Steak House in town. The funny thing about this is none of them know of these plans, as we have nicely ensured they will all be present without them having a clue as to what they will be doing. For March 14th, our men will be getting to do whatever they want at a Penthouse booked for him and his mates for the whole weekend without any interruptions from us after we kiss them goodbye and head to work. As this is a surprise, we have their bags packed and waiting for them at their penthouse suite for the weekend. A man that makes an effort does deserve to be reminded of the king he is every now and then.

For the married ladies be sure to finish it up pleasing your man in bed just the way you know he likes it. Don’t be shy to get out that sexy lingerie you have been dying to try on.

For all guys reading; have a Happy Macho Day or Steak and BJ Day. Be sure to let us know if your lady treats you right and for the ladies be sure to share your experiences of what you got up to.

So, this is to all the KINGS out there; thanks for making our world ever more beautiful and special!

Mummy!!!

Mummy is a word known for many amazing things. For some people it holds a lot of hurt and pain, for others it holds warmth and love. Today being mother’s day in the UK, we thought we would share a collection of some of the poems we have come to love as a dedication to this special day.

We dedicate this to the mother figure in each and every woman around the world. For the moms, the moms to be, those patiently awaiting the opportunity to be a mom, for the women who have known hurt and pain in their experiences with their moms, for the amazing and great mothers out there who define what womanhood is all about and for the women who have been given the opportunity to rewrite their experience and live what a mom should be through their kids. We love you all and pray that God will continue to direct your paths and keep you strong and healthy.

Below are ten hand-picked poems for all the special women out there. Print them, share them, post them on. Do whatever you can. And if you can't, be sure to at least tell her you love, appreciate and if necessary forgive her. Tell her how great she is!

• My Mother

Who fed me from her gentle breast,
And hush'd me in her arms to rest,
And on my cheek sweet kisses prest?
                           My Mother.

When sleep forsook my open eye,
Who was it sung sweet hushaby,
And rock'd me that I should not cry?
                           My Mother.

Who sat and watch'd my infant head,
When sleeping on my cradle bed,
And tears of sweet affection shed?
                           My Mother.

When pain and sickness made me cry,
Who gaz'd upon my heavy eye,
And wept, for fear that I should die?
                           My Mother.

Who drest my doll in clothes so gay,
And taught me pretty how to play,
And minded all I had to say?
                           My Mother.

Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
                           My Mother.

Who taught my infant lips to pray,
And love God's holy book and day,
And walk in wisdom's pleasant way?
                           My Mother.

And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee,
Who wast so very kind to me,
                           My Mother.

Ah! no, the thought I cannot bear;
And if God please my life to spare,
I hope I shall reward thy care,
                           My Mother.

When thou art feeble, old, and gray,
My healthy arm shall be thy stay,
And I will soothe thy pains away,
                           My Mother.

And when I see thee hang thy head,
'Twill be my turn to watch thy bed,
And tears of sweet affection shed,
                           My Mother.

For God, who lives above the skies,
Would look with vengeance in His eyes,
If I should ever dare despise,
                           My Mother.

As amended in response to criticism, last verse rewritten read;

For could our Father in the skies
Look down with pleased or loving eyes,
If ever I could dare despise
                           My Mother.

Ann Jane Taylor

• To My Mother

Because I feel that, in the Heavens above,
The angels, whispering to one another,
Can find, among their burning terms of love,
None so devotional as that of "Mother,"
Therefore by that dear name I long have called you-
You who are more than mother unto me,
And fill my heart of hearts, where Death installed you,
In setting my Virginia's spirit free.

My mother—my own mother, who died early,
Was but the mother of myself; but you
Are mother to the one I loved so dearly,
And thus are dearer than the mother I knew
by that infinity with which my wife
Was dearer to my soul than its soul-life.

 Edgar Allan Poe, addressed to his mother-in-law

• Sonnets are full of love

Sonnets are full of love, and this my tome
Has many sonnets: so here now shall be
One sonnet more, a love sonnet, from me
To her whose heart is my heart's quiet home,
To my first Love, my Mother, on whose knee
I learnt love-lore that is not troublesome;
Whose service is my special dignity,
And she my loadstar while I go and come
And so because you love me, and because
I love you, Mother, I have woven a wreath
Of rhymes wherewith to crown your honored name:
In you not fourscore years can dim the flame
Of love, whose blessed glow transcends the laws
Of time and change and mortal life and death.

Christina Rossetti

• To My Mother

To-day's your natal day,
Sweet flowers I bring;
Mother, accept, I pray,
My offering.

And may you happy live,
And long us bless;
Receiving as you give
Great happiness.

Christina Rossetti

• M-O-T-H-E-R

"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,"
A word that means the world to me.

Howard Johnson

• Tribute to Mother

A picture memory brings to me;
I look across the years and see
Myself beside my mother's knee.
I feel her gentle hand restrain
My selfish moods, and know again
A child's blind sense of wrong and pain.

But wiser now,
a man gray grown,
My childhood's needs are better known.
My mother's chastening love I own.

 John Greenleaf Whittier

• Motherhood

The bravest battle that ever was fought!
Shall I tell you where and when?
On the maps of the world you will find it not;
'Twas fought by the mothers of men.

Nay not with the cannon of battle-shot,
With a sword or noble pen;
Nay, not with eloquent words or thought
From mouth of wonderful men!

But deep in a walled-up woman's heart --
Of a woman that would not yield,
But bravely, silently bore her part --
Lo, there is the battlefield!

No marshalling troops, no bivouac song,
No banner to gleam and wave;
But oh! those battles, they last so long --
From babyhood to the grave.

Yet, faithful still as a bridge of stars,
She fights in her walled-up town --
Fights on and on in her endless wars
Then silent, unseen, goes down.

Oh, ye with banners and battle-shot,
And soldiers to shout and paise!
I tell you the kingliest victories fought
Were fought in those silent ways.

O spotless woman in a world of shame,
With splendid and silent scorn,
Go back to God as white as you came --
The Kingliest warrior born!

Joaquin Miller

• Wonderful Mother

God made a wonderful mother,
A mother who never grows old;
He made her smile of the sunshine,
And He moulded her heart of pure gold;
In her eyes He placed bright shining stars,
In her cheeks fair roses you see;
God made a wonderful mother,
And He gave that dear mother to me.

 Pat O'Reilly

• Before the Birth of One of Her Children

All things within this fading world hath end,
Adversity doth still our joys attend;
No ties so strong, no friends so dear and sweet,
But with death's parting blow are sure to meet.
The sentence past is most irrevocable,
A common thing, yet oh, inevitable.
How soon, my Dear, death may my steps attend,
How soon't may be thy lot to lose thy friend,
We both are ignorant, yet love bids me
These farewell lines to recommend to thee,
That when the knot's untied that made us one,
I may seem thine, who in effect am none.
And if I see not half my days that's due,
What nature would, God grant to yours and you;
The many faults that well you know I have
Let be interred in my oblivious grave;
If any worth or virtue were in me,
Let that live freshly in thy memory
And when thou feel'st no grief, as I no harmes,
Yet love thy dead, who long lay in thine arms,
And when thy loss shall be repaid with gains
Look to my little babes, my dear remains.
And if thou love thyself, or loved'st me,
These O protect from stepdame's injury.
And if chance to thine eyes shall bring this verse,
With some sad sighs honor my absent hearse;
And kiss this paper for thy dear love's sake,
Who with salt tears this last farewell did take.

Anne Bradstreet

• Mother o' Mine

If I were hanged on the highest hill,
 Mother o' mine, O mother  o' mine
I know whose love would follow me still,
 Mother  o' mine, O mother  o' mine!

If I were drowned in the deepest sea,
 Mother  o' mine, O mother  o' mine
I know whose tears would come down to me,
 Mother  o' mine, O mother  o' mine!

If I were damned of body and soul,
I know whose prayers would make me whole,
 Mother  o' mine, 0 mother  o' mine!

Rudyard Kipling

My Body or My Character or Both?

When a guy meets a girl for the first time, what goes through his mind? When a girl meets a guy for the first time, what goes through her mind?

Having hung out with loads of guys and babes and studied their ways, I am familiar with the first thing that goes through each mind when they set their eyes on the opposite sex.

For him, his first thought is to check out your body and your so called assets. Has she got a nice body; flat tummy, reasonable boobs, nicely curved hips and a squeezable bum? How well do this rate? Whether or not he decides to approach the lady next is a matter of the conclusions he makes to these questions.

For her, her first thought is to check out the charisma he exuberates, his body and at times how rich he is, and his package? Whether or not she decides to go depends at times on how persistent he is, how well he is good with his words and how cute he is, physically and personality wise.

Now there are different sets of women in this world; the religious beauty, the materialistic ravisher, the sex freak, the knockout, and the perfect combo. Lets take a look at each;

The religious beauty: On her first encounter with a guy, she tries to make it as obvious as possible that she is so into her religion. So you hear lines like; what religion are you and how serious are you with it? She tries to win the guy over to her religion. As such on first seeing the guy, she is checking out how committed he is to his way of life, his personality and whatever religion he falls under. To her that's the priority before she goes to check out his build, and physical attributes.

The materialistic ravisher: Now she knows the guy with the big bucks. On first impression if you ain't got any funds and you are dressed like you have got nothing, she gives you a ridiculous glance over and either turns away ignoring you or walks away. The first thoughts as she looks at you is how much money are you reeking of. For her, she wants to see the Armani, Gucci, Prada, LV, Polo, and the D&G's. By just looking at you and giving you the once over, she can tell how much money you have got, and if you are playing rich or not (that is, if you have had to borrow these items to try and impress her).

The sex freak: She's all about the package. I mean how big are you down there and what she can do with that. So the men at heart with boy packages have got no chance with her. An exception might be if he knows how to use his other assets (i don't have to mention them, am sure you all know what am talking about...) or is capable of ensuring that she is satisfied to the core. Even for her, the physical appearance goes a long way in determining whether or not she actually decides to get to the stage of getting to see, and feel the package.

The knockout: Now she is the babe that leaves a lasting impression on the guy. I mean from the time he sets his eyes on her, she is all he wants. Why? She has got the total package; from the looks to the personality, to how she carries herself and how she dresses. This girl knows her stuff; what flatters her and who she is. She is proud of what she is and this is portrayed by how she carries and presents herself. Now she is the type a guy sees and straight away wants to wife. You have got to have your shit together to impress her and even get her to notice you as hse knows her worth.

The perfect combo: She is a mix of all the previous sets. She has got the mix of the sets explained above in the perfect blend a guy admires. She is religious, spends wisely on things that flatter her and are a necessity, encourages wise spending and a little spoiling once in awhile, knows her stuff in bed and has got the beauty and brains (the knock-out effect). Now she is the take home to mama and introduce as her new daughter in-law type. All she looks for is someone who is not afraid to let her in and get to know him for who is really he, what he has to offer and who she can be to him. Her choice is not necessarily dependent on the physical attributes but on a combination of character and how she is attracted to you.

Is there a possibility of meeting a woman with certain attributes from the sets? Yes, I believe there is. To an extent I believe there is a combination of sets during our life-cycle.

Now there are different sets of men in this world; the religious hunk, the goal getter, the mama's boy, the grandiose, and the perfect combo. Lets take a look at each;

The religious hunk: These guys will hardly date girls they did not meet in their religious setting. On his first encounter with a chick, she tries to see how seriously she takes the matters of God. He looks for the active participants in the place of worship. So choir members, ushers, creche workers etc tickle his fancy. Who a girl is and how she carries herself in the religious setting determines if he makes a move on you as this are the major determining factors for him when making a choice.

The goal getter: This is the career oriented man. His type of chick is a woman that can hold her own. She must have a good job with steady career progression. He is likely to meet girls he goes for through his business contacts, connections or work-related events . He will not go for a girl that could potentially be a liability for him. He likes that she works and they can rub minds together on the intellectual and social level. He loves to look good in public and admires a woman that matches this.

The mama's boy: The way to his heart is to possess the character he loves in his mom. Also once you win his mom over you are in. He looks for the comforting things that he has associated with his mom in girls. So if his mom is a great cook and that what he really loves; you will be considered as long as you know your stuff in the kitchen.Whatever he likes in his mom as long as you possess that quality you are fine.

The grandiose: Now he is into impressing others.As long as a girl is extravagant, flamboyant, and showy; you have got his attention. So if you are into designers, big cars and the likes you are definately his type. Now he might not be necessarily rich so if his status can be upgraded or you can support the life style he tries to protray, you are in.

The perfect combo: Now he has the other sets in a perfect mix. He is the man girls die to be with. The take me home to dad type as I have found the guy! As such he is a keeper. At the rate at which girls throw themselves at him, all he wants is one that loves him and makes him happy. Obviously he has to be attracted to you. He looks for a woman who can see beyond the pretense and machoness to who he really his and help build and support his future with her in it.


A lot of men and women go through at least two of these sets during their life-time as different factors affect us during our life cycle. 

A saying goes; its all good and nice to love the body but when that fades what will be left...

According to Mcpaul; "love is not blind, it sees but it doesn't mind" As I see it; " if you want a guy to love you for a lifetime, love his heart not his money; if you want a girl to love you for a lifetime, love her soul not her body". There will be a point when the money and the physical or material attributes will all fade, then what will be the focus?

Real men and women don't love the most beautiful people in the world, they love the ones who can make their world the most beautiful.

Appreciate the uniqueness. if what you see by the eye doesn't please you, then close your eyes and see from the heart. because the heart can see beauty and love more than the eyes can ever wonder. A girl with the prettiest face, skinniest waist or a guy with the macho body, strength to carry you and throw you in the air might not always have the biggest heart to love you with. The diamond you are going after might just be a stone compared to the ruby fighting for you attention.

Babes!!! open your eyes o and stop running after "the rock". That perfect guy you want might be the death of you.

Dudes!!! Let Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie go and look at the beauty fighting for your attention, right there in-front of you and stop comparing her to them.

As always please lets have your opinions and be sure to share this link!!!