HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING?

Hi dedicated blog readers. Sorry we have been away for so long. A few of the team have been down with flu, one of the girls here is getting married and others have just been busy with the rush that comes on going on Christmas holiday.

All in all we have no valid reasons for keeping you in suspense for this long, so do accept our sincere apologies. For the next few days till Christmas, what this spot as we will be keeping you entertained; so lets have fun together for the next few days.

I had this interesting conversation with my friends over this weekend and thought I would share to get a public view on the below.

How long have you been dating for? That was the big question that got us all stirred up. A variety of answers came flying in from a few months to years.

This got me thinking and I asked the ladies to lets break it down and get to do the Maths.

Let take for example an answer of two (2) years. If I was to ask you that in the two years how often was your relationship face to face and not just based on telephone or social media communication?

What would the answer be?

LET'S BREAK IT DOWN: If you see your partner just twice in a month then it means 2 x 12 = 24 days and in two years its 48 days it means you've only dated for a month and 18 days (using a 30 day calendar month) and have only had mere communication in-between.

Would I be right in saying this is your actual age in the relationship?

Now don’t get me wrong my point is, its in this 48 days that you actually get to be with the person and this is the only time you get to know them (possibly) for who they are, you get to learn their personality and approach to certain things and probably learn from their character flaws.

Too many times we are too pre-occupied with the number of years that at times it deters us from the observations needing to be made a focus, the lessons needing to be learnt, and the nitty-gritty details. Stop focusing on the years you've known them focus more on the time you have both spent together, the time spent together is where you build what can be called a relationship. This time is when your foundations are laid and the seeds are planted and watered for growth.

This mentality at times I believe is a major reason why relationships become complicated and tend to fail as so much time is spent on how could she/he after so many months or years. Then you begin to doubt what you know about your partner because you believe you have spent so much time together when in actual fact it’s been mere communication. Please don’t get me wrong as mere communication is also vital in a relationship. My point is that we should never replace this with the irreplaceable experience of actually getting to know each other face to face. You will definitely never get to know the person completely before marriage but the much you get to know during this time will help form a better judgement as to your compatibility.

Concentrate more on them when you are with them in the physical than when you talk on the phone, chat or think of them. Rome was not built in a day. Likewise a lasting relationship cannot be built on just mere communications and calculations!

What are your thoughts on this?